Kuroshitsuji The Magical Purple Dust
by Kuroshitsuji69
Summary: It all started with a little magical purple dust and the whimsical characters of Kuroshitsuji.
1. Chapter 1

It was in the middle of the night. Sebastian sat at his master's desk while his master was asleep in his bedroom, sorting out tomorrow's schedule for the young earl and reading documents he gathered from the Undertaker.

Something caught Sebastian's eye. A purple dusty stain on the bottom-right corner of one of the papers.

"A stain?" Sebastian wondered.

Sebastian rubbed the stain and examined his gloved fingertips close to his face, accidentally inhaling the purple dust.

Sebastian's pupils dilated and his face became blank.

•••••

Ciel rolled around in his bed in annoyance, tightly shutting his eyes to resume sleep. Light leaking from the curtains kept annoying his slumber. He then squinted at the curtains. Ciel reached over to the counter next to the bed, reaching for his eyepatch and tying it onto his contract and around his head. He then slowly arose from the queen sized bed. He slowly walked over to the curtains, half asleep, and tugged them open. The window had a view of the sun, bright and shining. Birds in the trees that surrounded the manor chirped happily. Ciel quietly gasped, his eyes in deep shock. Ciel rushed over to the grandfather clock across the bedroom. He looked at the time.

"9:56?!"

"Goddamn it," Ciel said under his breath.

"SEBASTIAN!" Ciel screamed in rage. His scream echoed through the estate and the surrounding woods. The birds stopped chirping.

Sebastian usually awakes Ciel at 8:00 AM sharp and has a trolley of tea ready for him besides his bed, but not this morning. This morning was different.

Ciel slammed open his door and ran down the stairs, screaming Sebastian's name.

"SEBASTIAN! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

Ciel ran into the kitchen, where the other Phantomhive servants were.

"Where is Sebastian?" Ciel said, annoyed.

"Aw, young master looks so cute in his night gown!" Finnian pointed out.

"Shut up! Where's Sebastian? Have you any of you him lately? And why haven't you woken me up if Sebastian didn't?"

"Aw yes, Young Master! I saw Sebastian, doing incredible things, yes I did! Sebastian told us not to bother you, sir!" Mey-rin squeaked.

"Amazing things?..." Ciel questioned.

"Yeah! We saw him just a second ago, hangin' on the chandelier like a monkey in the amazon!" Bard said.

"You've got to be joking. Stop saying such foolish things. A Phantomhive butler would have more respect for themselves then let themselves sit around and play. Now stop dawdling, tell me where Sebastian really is!" Ciel demanded.

"But young master! We aren't lyin'! Come look!" Finnian pulled Ciel by the arm into the main room where the opening of the mansion and the elegant staircase were. Mey-rin and Bard followed along.

"Look up there!" Bard shouted, while looking up at the chandelier

Ciel, Finnian and Mey-rin looked up in shock.

"LONDON BRIDGE IS FALLING DOWN, FALLING DOWN, FALLING DOWN!" Sebastian sang, horribly and obnoxiously while hanging on the chandelier by his knees.

"Sebastian! Get down this instance!" Ciel interrupted his singing.

Sebastian dropped from the chandelier perfectly onto his feet, just like a cat, right in front of Ciel.

"Why didn't you wake me up?! You know my schedule stats at 8:00 AM sharp everyday! We have a contract that you never disobey my orders! What's wrong with y-"

Before Ciel could finish his bickering and shouting, Sebastian slapped him right across the face without emotion or regret.

Mey-rin fainted, Finnian gasped in horror, and Bard just stood there, completely shocked.

Ciel's cheek was covered in the purple dust that was on Sebastian's finger tips. Ciel could smell the purple dust from his cheek. His eyes began to dilate and he started rolling on the floor, laughing like a mad man.

Sebastian did the same, along with his young master.

"MYYYYY FAAAAAAAAAAIR LAAAAAADY!" Ciel sung, off key.

Sebastian put Ciel onto his back, and they ran out of the Phantomhive manor.

"LONDON BRIDGE IS FALLING DOWN, FALLING DOWN, FALLING DOWN!" They both sang together, as they ran off into the distance.

"But, but... Young master was still in his nightgown and wee slippers!" Mey-rin blurted.

"What the hell just happend?.." Bard asked in shocked.

"Where are they going? If they go to town, the Phantomhive name will be smeared into the newspapers with embarrassment!" Finnian cried out.

"Ho, Ho, Ho." Tanaka said, sitting in the corner of the room with a cup of tea.

**Chapter 2 coming soon. Thanks for reading**.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hehehe! Woooooo! Sebastian, this is fun!" Ciel laughed and giggled like a child.

Sebastian had Ciel on his back, they were running through streets of London, causing massive traffic for carriages. Many people witnessed the well known Earl, acting like a idiot.

"Look at that carriage. I FANCY IT, SEBASTIAN. THIS IS AN ORDER!" Ciel screamed

"It's all for you, young master! Anything is for you!" Sebastian screamed, as he threw Ciel into the carriage window.

Unfortunately, Sebastian was too dazed to notice that the the carriage window was closed and when he threw Ciel, the glass shattered, although Ciel entered successfully.

"DID THAT HURT, YOUNG MASTER?!" Sebastian shouted, from across the busy street.

Ciel snorted with laughter. He was lying down on the Viscount Druitt's lap.

"Well hello there, child." The Viscount looked down at Ciel, laying on his lap with glass shards all over. One of the glass shards hit Ciel's cheek, leaving a small cut.

The coach immediately halted the horses and got out of the front of the carriage to see what the loud crash was.

"My, my.. Is this some kind of charity work for sick children? Where are the interviewers?" The Viscount asked the driver of the coach.

"N-no.. That's Earl of Phantomhive!" The coach replied, shockingly.

"Oh my! Oh my! Oh my! I couldn't even recognize the Earl with messy hair and a grin on his face. I never thought I'd see the day the Earl would dawdle around, running through the streets, playing tag, with his butler in his night gown! This is quite hilarious." The Viscount started laughing dramatically and uncontrollably, and so did the coach.

Sebastian rushed over to the carriage and approached the driver of the coach.

"Please leave, I can handle it from here." Sebastian said to the driver.

"What do you mean? You are a servant of the Phantomhive household, not the Viscount. I assure you, I am perfectly fine. I also suggest you control your master." The coach driver replied.

"I do not like your tone. Leave now, or I will bring misery, pain and suffering to all that is nearest and dearest to you." Sebastian replied, with a glowing demon fuchsia in his eyes.

The driver of the coach screamed in shock. Sebastian was no ordinary butler. The driver was horrified by Sebastian's eyes, and ran away.

"MONSTER!" The driver of the coach said, as he screamed as he ran down the London streets.

The Viscount peeked his head out of the broken glass carriage window, witnessing his carriage driver running away in tears.

"Aw. What a shame. Who will drive me to my destination now?" The Viscount said, disappointingly.

"What kind of butler would I be if I used my young master as an object to throw, shattered your carriage window and scared off one of your servants, without volunteering to take you to your destination?" Sebastian said, as he bowed towards the carriage.

"None of what you just said made any utter sense to me, but I am glad to have free transportation! God bless you, Phantomhive butler!" The Viscount thanked Sebastian.

"I am already blessed by Jesus Christ. You see, I have found Jesus. Deep in my heart." Sebastian replied with passion.

The Viscount cried from the beautiful words Sebastian has spoken.

"God bless you, Phantomhive butler! God bless you!"

Sebastian hopped onto the front of the carriage and whipped the horses.

"HUZZAH!" Sebastian cried as the horses went off.

Ciel poked his head out of the shattered carriage window and gave a blowing raspberry to the people and carriages behind them.

"ALL OF LONDON AND IT'S RESIDENTS ARE MY PAWNS! YOU ARE ALL NOOOOOOTHING!" Ciel screamed out the window, as the carriage speeded away.

"What in the bloody hell..?" Aberline said, witnessing Ciel right before the carriage jetted off.

"All these complaints of traffic and commotion on the streets of London, caused by the Earl?.."

"I find it believable. He is an evil noblemen. Nothing that comes from him is good." Randall replied, taking out the cigarette out of his mouth.

"But he is just a mere child, he is powerful and all but-"

"Don't you dare doubt the earl. He is pure evil and uses dirty methods. In fact, all this commotion could of been something Her Majesty has requested. He is her little dog, you know."

"I doubt that, Mr. Randall. He is a child, it could just be puberty."


	3. Chapter 3

"Servant of Phantomhive! Please slow down this carriage this instance!" The Viscount shouted.

"WHY?! Sebastian, KEEP GOING! This is fun! I own a toy and confectionary company called FUNtom for a reason, you know! FUNTOM! FUNTOM! FUNTOM!" Ciel chanted vigorously with a stupid grin.

The carriage was past London's speed limit.

"I'll have you know that I am one heavenly butler, and I make things fun and somewhat safe! Please do not press charges, Viscount!" Sebastian shouted, as he whipped the horses.

"FASTER! FASTER!" Ciel screamed.

"YES, MY LORD!" Sebastian screamed back from the front of the carriage, as he whipped the horses over and over.

One of the carriage's wheels broke off, and the carriage slid down.  
"Bumpy bumpy bumpidy bump!" Ciel giggled as the carriage bumped and slid around.

The carriage started to immensely wobble at a dangerous pace.

"I THINK IM GOING TO BE SICK!" The Viscount screamed, as he hugged his knees up to his chest and buried his face.

The carriage slid and then came to a complete stop.

"...HEY! This isn't where I wanted to be taken to." The Viscount complained.

Sebastian hopped off the front of the carriage and went to the back.

"Apologies, Viscount. It seems that one of the wheels on the carriage has broken, although it was rather amusing to hear you scream and cry." Sebastian chuckled, as he bowed and opened the carriage door.

The carriage arrived at the worst place in London, The East End. The East End of London was a horrid place, plagued with poverty and crime.

"Although I have requested that you take me to my cousin's, the Trancy household, mm, yes?"

"You ungrateful little shit." Ciel said, bluntly.

"Earl?!"

"My butler offers you the finest hospitality that a butler could ever offer, and you become all greedy and piglike!"

"Well!" scoffed the Viscount, "I don't need this! Have a horrid day, Earl!" the Viscount remarked, sassily as he exited the carriage.

Sebastian held the door open for the Viscount. As soon as the Viscount laid one foot onto the floor, Sebastian stretched out his leg in front of the Viscount's.

The Viscount tripped, face first into a puddle of mud.

"Looks like the Viscount is in 'deep shit' if you know what I mean, Young Master!

"Hahahaha!" Sebastian laughed and nudged Ciel.

"HAHAHA! Good one, Sebastian! You always know how to play 'dirty'!" Ciel joked.

The two laughed and joked. Ciel was laughing uncontrollably in the carriage, while Sebastian was rolling on the floor like a madman.

The Viscount got up and out of the mud.

"Barbarians! I'll find a new type of transportation!" The Viscount cried out, stomping away.

"What a dramatic man." laughed Sebastian.

"I doubt he'll be served any service with all that smutted shit on him. Disgusting pig." Ciel remarked.

"Heheheheh."

"Sebastian, did you hear that?" Ciel asked.

"The faint giggling? Why yes. I heard the giggling of a beautiful angel!" Sebastian blushed.

"Where is it coming from?"

Sebastian took Ciel out of the carriage, his arms under Ciel's armpits, like holding a baby or puppy.

He placed Ciel onto the floor.

"L-Look." Sebastian pointed at the rooftop of an abandoned building.

"I see nothing, Sebastian. What kind of game of 'I Spy' is this?!"

"It's Grellerella!" Sebastian's face turned hot.

"My, my, BASSY!" Grell jumped off one of the building rooftops and onto the floor.

"You really think my giggling sounds like an angel?" Grell batted his eyes.

"Sound like an angel? You are an angel, my beloved!"

Sebastian held Grell in his arms, in a romantic embrace. He began to caress Grell's cheek with his gloved hands.

"Oh, Grellerella Sutcliff, you look so beautiful in midday, especially with that bleeding red nose of yours. A sexy red, indeed.."

"Se-Se-Sebastian! I-I-Is this some kind of trap?.." Grell asked, lovingly.

Sebastian placed a gloved fingertip on Grell's lips.

"Shhh," Sebastian cooed.

Sebastian got onto one knee and held Grell's hand, and looked up with loving eyes.

"Grellerella Sutcliff, will you be Mrs. Grellerella Michaelis? After all, I am one heavenly butler, and also one soon to be heavenly husband."

Grell blushed an unbelievable red.

"OH MY-"

When Grell opened his mouth, the magic purple dust that was placed onto his upper lip fell into his mouth. Grell's pupils began to dilate.

There was a moment of silence.

"Marry you?! Please don't make me laugh! Too late! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Grell yanked his hand out of Sebastian's.

"But, my beloved!" Sebastian cried out.

"How disappointing, but you two were such a lovely item." Ciel commented, witnessing the whole thing.

"Why, yes it is disappointing. But a woman like me needs to express herself. To be free from men! Men have been controlling women for many many years and have been treating them as property! It's vile! Disgusting! I'm sorry, Bassy, but I'd rather drop dead this very second than marry the likes of you."

Sebastian clutched his heart with a face that showed deep etched pain, and fell to the ground.

"Ta-ta, Bassy! Have a nice life! No one can seduce this woman! I'm more free than a butterfly!" Grell said, as he turned around, accidentally bumping into someone.

Oomf!

"Hey, watch it you little-" Grell bursted, when he fell onto the floor.

Grell bumped into William T. Spears.

William, still standing tall, looked down at Grell with an emotionless face that hid disgust.

William snapped onto Grell's hair with his death scythe and held him high.

"Ow! Willy-kins, that hurts!"

"I've been sent to pick you up, Grell Sutcliff. You have lots of work to do. There's no time for dawdling around, especially with a demon vermin."

"Oh that demon over there? So over Bassy! What can I say? I'm a total heartbreaker! I think I have a new crush now, and I'm looking straight at him!" Grell batted his eyes.

"We have lots of work to do back at the Dispatch Management Division. You need to do your share of work. I will not be doing overtime just because a certain trash officer cannot show up to work." William said, sternly.

William and Grell teleported back to the Shinigami Realm.

"It's okay, Sebastian! There are plenty of fish out here in London." Ciel said, supportingly, while patting Sebastian's back.

"No. Grellerella is the only one my broken heart weeps for."

"I will support you through your heartbreak, Sebastian."

"Thank you, my lord."

"Right after I ride your back to the Trancy Household. I am starting to like the Viscount. And I like angering him. Let's beat him to the Trancy's and annoy him some more, Sebastian. This is an order. Kneel down like a dog so I can ride your back in triumph. To the Trancy's!" Ciel shouted in victory.

Ciel hopped onto Sebastian's back.

"Giddy up, horse."

"Yes, my lord!"

Sebastian crawled on the dirty East End floor.

"If only I had a whip." Ciel smirked.

"It would hurt so bad and so good, young master."

"Shut up and crawl, you masochistic demon."


End file.
